A Bartender's Guide to Measuring Up in your Relationships


     I’ve worked in some tough bars. Whether it was the type of crowd, the neighborhood, the people I worked for or the people I worked with, I’ve seen been through some things that would make the faint of heart run for the hills, and I had to do it with a smile on my face and my attitude in check. And I’ve survived it.
Have I had nights where I’ve run off to cry, dodged bullets, been cussed out, scared for my safety? Yes. Did I let those nights stop me from living my life or disrupt my focus? Not one bit.
     The really hard jobs give you the most experience. So much so that–no matter how briefly you’re there–once you leave, anything else after that is a cakewalk. You almost laugh at the ease. Your skin will be thicker, and you’ll be mentally stronger. Not to mention, whether you tried to or not, you’ll have learned a lot of necessary skills that you can keep with you for your future endeavors.
     Similarly, when you’ve had a really tough relationship–lots of arguing, misunderstanding, lack of trust, and hard work–the next one will seem like a vacation. It can be hard to see that though while you’re in the eye of the storm. Often we resolve not to give our all to the next person, (or get involved at all) for fear that that new relationship will turn out like the last. Instead, it’s better to focus on the lessons learned from that previous wrong experience. Your skin will become thicker and you’ll be mentally sharper, in a way that will protect you from the same kind of hurt because you’ll be able to see it coming. The next relationship after that should be a cakewalk, but you’ll never know if you don’t take the chance. Don’t let the drama from your last gig keep you from apply to the next one.
So what’s your barometer? How do you decide how much is too much, and what makes you feel strong enough to get back in the game?


Comments on: "Tough Times Give You Tough Skin" (5)

  1. I really feel you were writing this and directly talking to me. It’s so crazy. The quote at the top had me thinking for such a long time. Thank you for writing this post!!!

    • You and I are in the same industry so trust me I understand. It’s possible I read one of your post when I was inspired to write this one. 😉 Burnout is real! Get out while you have your sanity.

  2. I tracked with your posts for awhile and then got really busy. I’m back at the right time–because this one really resonates after ending a relationship. You didn’t know you were writing just for me, did you? 🙂

  3. I couldn’t agree more. I worked in the restaurant business for a lot of my life and did everything from cleaning tables and bathrooms to cooking. It helps you to not only appreciate the positions, but also the people doing those other menial labors I think. I also tried to never carry over resentment from a previous employment to my next job if I can help it!

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