A Bartender's Guide to Measuring Up in your Relationships



     “Drinking games are stupid; at least the competitive ones are. The ones where the purpose is to take shots or chug beer to see who can handle the most liquor the best. The one who drinks the most wins. The reward is usually puking, a hangover, or worse, alcohol poisoning. What a prize.
     Most often, the purpose of the game is to get completely wasted and see who can hold their liquor the best. Pride keeps participants from saying ‘when‘ long after they’re past drunk.
     Drinking games are kind of like the childhood game ‘Say Uncle:‘ where one kid twists another one’s arm with increasing intensity until the one being pinned can’t take anymore and screams ‘Uncle!’
     The people that were the best at it were the ones who held out the longest or never gave in. However, while they appear to be the winners, really they were the ones in the most pain–and the pain lasted longer than that of their peers–because they wouldn’t just surrender to the feeling when it was safe to do so. Some people are so proud that they would rather risk guaranteed pain to avoid appearing weak to–and possibly being hurt by–someone else.
     When you love someone, there is no room for pride. Otherwise, you run the risk of losing out on love. You have to decide which is more important to you, a relationship or your pride, but you can’t have both. And, contrary to what some may believe, love is stronger than pride, because even if you let pride win, the love doesn’t just go away. Only now, instead of a chance at happiness, you’re left with that unsettling feeling that asks, ‘What if I’m really missing out on something?’
     When you’re afraid to let down your guard it’s because you are afraid of looking weak. But you have to be a little vulnerable for love to work. You don’t decide to fall in love with someone, it just happens; so you can’t decide to only if they love you back. When you love someone, it’s not supposed to be because you’re trying to get something back. It’s about what you can give. And though you may want to win their heart, it’s not a competition.” So what’s your barometer? At what point will you decide it’s safe to let down your guard?

Except from The Barometer: A Bartender’s Guide To Measuring Up In Your Relationships


Comments on: "“Never Have I Ever” …Been In Love" (1)

  1. I have an ex-bf that would always “win” drinking games. He was always competitive in that respect and would be the one puking every time.

    But to answer your question, I think everyone is different and every person you interact with may also result in different timing for when you can let your guard down. It’s a balancing act of your own emotions and navigating the other person. If you’re at a time in your life where you were just recently hurt, perhaps a recent breakup, you might be more guarded than if you’ve had enough time between relationships. Both people have to be emotionally available to be fully vulnerable and to let down their guard.

    I read somewhere that at approximately 3 months is when a relationship really starts to form from casual to being “official”, so perhaps this is when one’s guard is fully down once the relationship is defined.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: